Should men be emotional?

by Monsurat Momoh
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an emotional man

Isn’t this question very ridiculous? “Should men be emotional?” Showing emotions are a very valid way of expressing ourselves. How boring would your life be if you couldn’t express yourself? The expectations between men and women are so different, emotions related, i get very baffled. Why is this even a subject of discussion?

Men have been conditioned right from their childhood to feel less emotions. I can only describe that as toxic because that is what it is. Some even go as far as saying “That is what makes you a man”. I’m sorry, What? What makes an individual a man is his physical form. You cannot see a man and say “that is a woman”, can you? Because obviously, he isn’t.

You know, a lot of women complain about their partners being very hard to read? Isn’t it clear why that is happening? Having being conditioned by the society to always be strong, what time would they have to learn to communicate or anything related to that? I bet it feels like a burden most of the time. Just to be a man. Like being men makes them any different.

Stereotypes like this exist because we have been accustomed to believe that the male species have a certain image to uphold.

This is basic information passed from parents to children and from generation to generation. And we say we’re evolving into better centuries. If women are now allowed education and work unlike in the past, why shouldn’t men be emotional?

In the past, to be manly meant to express nothing, not even fear. You don’t get it? Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe portrays deeply when I’m referring to. If you’ve read the book, then maybe you understand what i mean. I can’t account for how many times i have heard “No be man you be? Why you dey do like woman?” You can hear statements like this in different scenarios. There is a fight between a man and a woman? A man speaks out when he is angered. Or a family looses a child. Basically anything you can think of.

Vulnerability is another issue on its own. If they can’t express themselves, how then can they show they’re hurting? Imagine not being able to shed a tear because  you’re a man. Personally, I can’t befriend people who won’t tell me when they’re going through something. Life is hard, why make it even harder for yourself?

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