Akwa Ibom girls are beautiful. No one can dispute that. In addition to their beauty, they are innovative, resourceful, loving, and can also make delicious food. No wonder, suitors troop into the state from across the country and beyond to seek the hand of beautiful Akwa Ibom maidens in marriage.
Ibibio is the major tribe in Akwa Ibom state, and other tribes have slight differences in dialect and culture; thus, Ibibio tradition can arguably be used as a sample for the entire state. Marriage is regarded as a complex of social, political, religious, and economic systems in Ibibio land and there are elaborate ceremonies on it before, during, and after the formal handing over of a girl or woman to her suitor. Bassey Ubong in his study Traditional Marriage Ceremonies among the Ibibio people of Nigeria: a study of Theatrics outlines events in the marriage process in Akwa Ibom state as follows:
1. ‘Knowing the Bride’s House
The groom-to-be visits the bride’s family with wine. He will state his intentions to marry her. If the bride’s family accepts his proposal, a second meeting will be arranged. In this meeting, the bride’s family will welcome them with food and drinks to assure the groom and his entourage that the prospective bride knows a lot about food and will thus feed her husband well. In a traditional setting, a knowledgeable woman will elaborately present and taste each food item before the groom’s entourage is served. However, sometimes this is usually bypassed, especially in urban communities.
2. ‘Knocking the Door’
This is the second stage of the marriage rites in which the man shows his readiness to marry the bride-to-be. The groom-to-be will be given a list of items to be bought as bride price, and an opportunity to negotiate. Both families will seat and debate on the quality and quantity of the items demanded as the bride price. This phase usually is the most exciting and entertaining phase. People generally have the need for profuse employment of proverbs and jokes. Fortunately, modern trends have gradually cut out the time used for negotiations in the past.
Many families have kicked against it, because it gives the impression that they are selling their daughter. However, it is still done by a lot of families. It is known as the Argument of the list. After this, gifts are delivered to the bride’s family on an arranged date. Gifts are ways of compensating the family of the lady by the family members of the groom’ for taking away a member of their family.
3. The Wedding Proper
This is the most significant part of the ceremony, the traditional marriage. Wine is popped, and drinks are poured and exchanged among the bride, groom, and their parents. Pledges of good behaviour and ‘to love and to cherish’ are made. In some cases (and recently) Pastors or religious leaders are brought to pray and confirm the traditional performance. Before this happens, there are some dramatic occurrences:
