In the early days and weeks of a relationship, it seems like heaven, as though you can’t breathe without this person. It seems to you like a break-up would never happen. However, as you get closer and closer, you may notice traits and behaviours that jolt you. You may think they are just the normal problems in relationships, but there is a difference between the normal ups and downs of a healthy partnership and signs that a relationship has run its course, and it is time to call it quits. What are some signs to watch out for that can help you determine it’s time to let go? If you recognize some of the following signs in your relationship, it’s time to take a hard look at whether things are worth repairing.
Major values aren’t aligned
You may connect very deeply with your partner, but the both of you are going separate ways in life. You are on different lines when it comes to big decisions in life. For example, you may want to get married, but your partner wants to remain single You may want to have children but your partner does not want to. You may want to relocate and your partner does not want to. When your direction in life does not align and comes between you and your goals, it becomes a major problem. You might have to let go of the relationship in order to achieve your goals in life.
You feel negative around your partner
Life is not la la land. You won’t feel good all the time. However, if you feel disrespected, underappreciated, frustrated, hurt, insignificant, lonely, invalidated, ashamed, or guilty on a regular basis, then there’s a problem. This is especially so, if your partner does not show any remorse for making you feel bad. If your partner does not seem to value or respect your feelings, the truth is they do not love you. A person who loves you won’t always hurt your feelings.
You’re being physically or mentally abused
Physical abuse is a no no. If a person hits you, he doesn’t deserve you. Once you realize that you are being abused and you are ready to leave, you should do so quickly and carefully to avoid potential escalation and violence that could endanger your life. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, use any and all resources available to you, and get out safely. On the other hand, Emotional abuse involves attempts to frighten, control, or isolate you. This type of abuse doesn’t involve physical violence, though it might involve threats of violence directed toward you or your loved ones. It’s characterized by a person’s words, actions, and the consistency of these behaviours. Abuse may start gradually, but it happens again and again. When this happens, you should really consider leaving the relationship.
Lack of Trust
Being in a relationship without trust is not a happy place to be. Trust is a fundamental foundation for any healthy, loving and functional relationship. Any form of secrets or deception, even if you haven’t gone as far as cheating, is a red flag that says that there’s no trust or honour in the relationship. A relationship can’t last without trust for a number of reasons. If you don’t have trust, you won’t believe your partner. You’ll always feel insecure, unable to accept a compliment and feel like you’re not loved or appreciated. If you are fully invested in the relationship and can rebuild that trust with your partner, that’s fine. If you’re not, let it go and move on. Life is too short to spend it with someone who doesn’t make you happy. If you find yourself in this situation, it might be time to break up.
Lack of Respect
Respect is an important component of every healthy relationship. Healthy relationships are all about establishing and respecting one another’s boundaries. You don’t need to be a relationship expert to notice the obvious signs of a disrespectful partner. A disrespectful partner doesn’t listen to you, lies to you, doesn’t prioritize you, gives you the silent treatment, gives romantic attention to others, and speaks to you anyhow. If you’re being disrespected all too often, it might be time to break up.
Please note: Breaking up is up to you. However, do not allow your feelings or love for an individual to becloud your judgement so that you stay in an abusive relationship. If your partner does not respect you, doesn’t align with your goals in life, can’t be trusted, and disrespects you, then it might be time to move on. Sometimes, you might even be the problem. To know more about this, click here.
