Growing up in Nigeria, I was constantly reminded of the importance of marriage. It was seen as the ultimate goal, the ultimate achievement, and the ultimate fulfilment of one’s purpose. Whether at family gatherings or social events, no one cares about personal privacy. Everyone seemed all too eager to ask the same question: “When are you getting married?“. It wasn’t until I began dating seriously that I realised just how much pressure there was to tie the knot. It wasn’t just a casual inquiry. Furthermore, it was a deeply ingrained expectation, one that carried with it the weight of tradition, culture, and even religion. I felt as though I was constantly being evaluated not just as an individual, but as a potential spouse.
This pressure sad as it might be is not unique to me.
In Nigerian culture, marriage is often viewed as a measure of success and an indicator of social status. It is seen as a way to carry on family traditions, ensure the continuation of one’s lineage, and provide for future generations. As a result, there is often a sense of urgency, and a need to find a partner and settle down as soon as possible.
But this pressure can have a profound effect on relationships. It can lead to rushed decisions, hasty commitments, and even emotional burnout. Many people feel as though they are in a race against time. Almost like if they don’t get married by a certain age or within a certain timeframe, they will have failed somehow. This can put a strain on relationships and make it difficult for couples to build a strong foundation.
Furthermore, the pressure to get married can also create unrealistic expectations and standards.
There is often an emphasis on finding a partner who is of the same social class, who comes from a good family, and who has a certain level of financial stability. This can lead to a narrow focus on external factors rather than actual impactful internal qualities. Qualities such as compatibility, shared values, and emotional connection.
It is important to note that marriage is a deeply personal decision. Importantly, it should be based on individual choice rather than societal expectations. It is possible to honour tradition and culture while also allowing room for personal agency and self-discovery. By creating a culture that values self-exploration and personal growth, we can help to alleviate the pressure to get married and allow individuals to make choices that are right for them.
Overall, the pressure to get married in Nigerian culture is a complex issue that requires careful consideration and thoughtful discussion. By acknowledging the impact it can have on relationships and creating a culture that values personal agency and self-discovery, we can work towards creating a society that is more inclusive, supportive, and empowering for all individuals.
