When you’re in a relationship or even just talking to someone you like, it’s natural to want to be their favourite. You want to believe that you’re the one they think about first in the morning and last at night. But sometimes, no matter how much you hope for that spark to be mutual, reality hits differently. Not everyone treats love or affection equally — and unfortunately, there are signs that you might not be his favourite person.
If you’re wondering where you really stand in his life, here are five honest, tell-tale signs that you might not be the one he prioritizes.
1. You Always Initiate the Conversations
Healthy relationships have balance — and that includes communication. If you find yourself always being the one to text first, make the calls, or set up plans, that’s a major red flag. When someone truly values you, they’ll want to talk to you. They’ll reach out, check in, and make sure you feel seen and heard.
If he constantly leaves your messages on read or replies hours later with dry responses, he’s not making an effort — and worse, he might be reserving that effort for someone else. Love is a two-way street. If you’re doing all the driving, he’s not walking beside you.
2. You Don’t Know Where You Stand
You’re not quite sure if you’re his girlfriend, friend, or just someone he talks to when he’s bored. If your “relationship” lacks definition or he avoids conversations about exclusivity and the future, take it seriously. A man who sees you as a priority will make it clear that you’re important in his life.
Uncertainty breeds anxiety. If you find yourself constantly overthinking his words and actions, replaying texts in your head, or asking your friends to interpret his behavior, it’s probably because he’s keeping you in the grey area. People keep their options open when they’re not fully invested — don’t let yourself be someone’s plan B.
3. He Makes Time for Everyone But You
Watch how he manages his time. If he has time to hang out with his friends, go to the gym, scroll through social media, and attend every party — but can’t seem to carve out an hour for you — that’s not a coincidence. People make time for who they want to make time for. Full stop.
If every meet-up depends on your schedule, your effort, or your location, it’s a one-sided dynamic. And if he only reaches out when it’s convenient for him — like late at night or when he’s bored — it’s a clear sign that you’re not the priority. You’re a backup plan, not a go-to person. And you deserve more than that.
4. He Talks About Other Women — A Lot
One of the most uncomfortable but eye-opening signs you’re not his favourite is when he talks about other women around you. Whether it’s an ex, a “close friend,” or someone he follows online, if he brings up other women frequently, it could be a subtle way of telling you where his attention is.
Sure, having female friends is completely normal, but if he lights up when he mentions one person in particular or if he shares more about his crushes and “types” than about you and your connection, that’s not accidental. He’s either emotionally unavailable, not into you — or worse, comparing you to someone else. In any case, you’re not the one on his mind the most.
5. You Just Feel It
This one might be the hardest to accept, but also the most important. Intuition is powerful. If you constantly feel like something is off, like you’re putting in more than you’re getting back, or like he treats others with more warmth and effort than he does you — don’t ignore that.
Love shouldn’t make you feel small, unsure, or replaceable. You shouldn’t have to convince someone to choose you. If your gut is telling you that he doesn’t see you the same way you see him, trust it. Actions don’t lie — and neither does the way someone makes you feel consistently over time.
Final Thoughts
It’s never easy to admit that you’re not someone’s favourite. But facing the truth is better than staying stuck in a cycle of false hope and disappointment. You deserve to be someone’s first choice — not their backup, not their occasional text, not their convenience.
If these signs feel familiar, don’t let it destroy your self-worth. Use it as motivation to move on and make space for someone who will genuinely choose you every day — without hesitation, without games, and without making you question your worth.
Because love isn’t about proving yourself. It’s about finding someone who already sees you as the prize.
