Relationships nowadays are ephemeral and temporary. They never last. As soon as you’ve gotten into one, it seems a break-up is just around the corner. When you think of the possible reasons why people break up, cheating might be the first thing that comes to mind. But there are plenty more reasons why relationships fall apart. Consider the following:
Your Partner Isn’t Ready
Many people believe that because a couple loves each other, the relationship is supposed to be a natural thing. It should come easy. But that’s not true. For a relationship to last the test of time, it needs both parties to put in the effort. These are two different coming together invading each other’s private space. You are coming in with a huge bag of idiosyncrasies. Effort is needed to get to know and tolerate each other. If your partner is not ready, they won’t put in any effort to ensure the relationship works.
A person who isn’t ready for a relationship sees things casually. If you have a good time whenever you’re together, but you never have any deep conversations, it’s a sign that the connection is still quite shallow. The same goes for someone who is emotionally unavailable. It’s not that he doesn’t like you, it’s that he doesn’t want to let you get too close. If he is still only planning one date at a time, and never talks about the future, then he may not be ready for a relationship.
You’re Not Compatible
No matter how much you are in love with your partner, there is a high probability that your relationship is going to face serious issues if both of you want different things in life and do not complement each other’s personality type. One way to know if you and someone are not compatible is if you don’t share a similar enough view of the future. Incompatibility does not mean your relationship is doomed. However, when it comes to things that require the other person to compromise an essential part of their identity or what they want in their future, this is when incompatibilities can get in the way of a relationship working out. If you and your partner can’t get on the same page about important life decisions, you might be better off finding someone who is.
Unrealistic Expectations
Most people come into a relationship with some kind of preconceived idea about how they’ll be treated. If your partner isn’t meeting your expectations, it doesn’t mean they’re a flawed partner or that the relationship can’t succeed. It just needs you to make adjustments to fit into each other’s lifestyle.
Movies are also not helping matters. Despite the utterly apparent lack of realism in romantic comedies, a part of every person secretly hopes for love as they see in the movies. Believing in fate, soulmates, and divine intervention— whatever you want to call it— is a recipe for disaster. Romance movies take advantage of our naive and optimistic values of love and twist them into something irrational.
You’re Not Tolerant
Losing tolerance in a relationship is a sign you’ve lost patience. If the relationship lacks attention or starts to become riddled with intolerance and criticism; the relationship can become toxic. Learning to manage and tolerate our differences, rather than letting them fester and cause increased resentment, is a critical step to promoting a satisfying long-term relationship. When you and your partner learn how to manage difficult situations in a way that is acceptable, but not ideal, the level of tolerance you have over time becomes critical to your relationship satisfaction.
Lack of Self-control
No matter how much you love your partner, there will inevitably come times when you experience the urge to do something that you know will hurt them. When this sort of behaviour becomes habitual, the problems can get out of hand—and sometimes the relationship will be derailed entirely. Impulsive partners risk wrecking everything they’ve built through thoughtless misdeeds. But partners who exercise self-control—regardless of whether they feel those impulses—enjoy happier, more prosperous relationships, because they keep one eye on their urges and the other on the long term.
Relationships do not last because both parties are not on the same page or are not ready to work on being together. Relationships need work. Some qualities like patience, tolerance, and self-control are key to a long-lasting relationship. If two people are not ready to develop such qualities, the relationship is bound to fail.
