We all have that one friend who seems a little too good to be true. They act supportive and friendly, but sometimes you get the feeling that they might not have your best interests at heart. This type of person is commonly known as a frenemy – a friend who is actually an enemy in disguise. Although the term “frenemy” is relatively new, the concept has been around for a long time. In this article, we will discuss how to identify a frenemy by examining their behaviors and communication patterns.
A Frenemy is Quick to Criticize
The first sign of a frenemy is that they are quick to criticize or belittle you. They might say something like “Oh, that’s cute, but it’s not really your style.” or “You’re not really good at this, are you?” At first, it might seem like they are just trying to offer constructive criticism, but over time you will realize that their comments are actually meant to make you feel insecure and doubt yourself. It’s important to remember that true friends support and encourage each other, and although they may offer constructive criticism from time to time, they do it in a way that is helpful and kind.
A Frenemy Gossips Behind your Back
Another red flag when it comes to a frenemy is that they tend to gossip about you behind your back. They might say things like “Did you hear what she did last weekend?” or “I can’t believe she actually said that!” If you find out that your supposed friend is talking about you behind your back, it’s a good sign that they don’t really have your best interests in mind. Friends should build each other up, not tear each other down.
A Frenemy is Possessive
In addition to gossiping, frenemies tend to be possessive. They might get upset when you hang out with other friends, or act jealous when you spend time with people they don’t know. This possessiveness is a sign that they want to control your time and energy. True friends are happy when you have other people in your life, and they understand that you can’t spend all your time with them. A frenemy, on the other hand, wants to monopolize your life and make sure that you are always available to them.
A Frenemy is Competitive
Moreover, a frenemy might also be competitive with you. They might try to one-up you in conversation, or brag about their accomplishments in a way that makes you feel inferior. This competitive behavior is a sign that they don’t want you to succeed, and would rather see you fail or struggle. It’s important to remember that healthy competition can be good for friendships, but if it’s done in a way that hurts or diminishes you, it’s not really competition – it’s just trying to bring you down.
A Frenemy is Manipulative
Frenemies also tend to be manipulative. They might use guilt or emotional manipulation to get you to do things for them, or make you feel bad when you don’t do what they want. They might say things like “I thought you cared about me” or “If you were a true friend, you would do this for me.” This type of behavior is toxic and abusive, and a true friend would never try to manipulate you in this way.
A Frenemy is Passive-Aggressive
Last but not the least, a frenemy might also be passive-aggressive in their communication. They might say something that seems friendly on the surface, but actually has a hidden meaning or agenda. For example, they might say “Oh, I’m sure you’ll do great on that project” but actually mean “I don’t think you’re capable of doing this.” This type of communication is confusing and can make you doubt yourself or feel bad without knowing why.
In conclusion, identifying a frenemy can be difficult, but there are certain behaviors and communication patterns that can give you clues. If you notice that your friend is overly critical, gossips about you, is possessive, competitive, manipulative, or passive-aggressive, it’s time to re-evaluate your friendship. True friends support and encourage each other, and they want to see you succeed and be happy. If your friend is not doing these things, it’s time to move on and find someone who will. Remember, you deserve to have friends who lift you up and make you feel good, not tear you down and make you doubt yourself.
