Have you ever pressured your child into an activity they dislike to maintain appearances or scolded them harshly over a bad grade because of what others might think? If so, you could be engaging in ego parenting—a behaviour pattern where a parent prioritizes their image or feelings over their child’s emotional well-being.
Mental health therapist Cheryl Groskopf explains that ego parenting shifts focus from supporting a child’s growth to protecting a parent’s sense of control or validation.
What Is Ego Parenting?
Ego parenting isn’t a formal style, but it manifests when parents act out of their own emotional needs rather than their child’s best interests. Examples include:
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Refusing to admit fault to maintain authority.
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Pushing children into activities for the sake of appearances.
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Reacting harshly to situations out of fear of judgment.
Dr. Caroline Fenkel, an expert in adolescent mental health, warns that this behaviour may inadvertently teach children that love is conditional, leading to anxiety, perfectionism, low self-esteem, and a fear of failure.
How to Break the Cycle of Ego Parenting
1. Acknowledge the Pattern
Self-awareness is key. Pause when reacting strongly and ask yourself: “Is this about my child’s needs or my discomfort?”
2. Prioritize Connection Over Control
Replace arguments with curiosity. Listen to your child, validate their feelings, and aim to understand their perspective.
3. Model Accountability
Apologizing when wrong doesn’t weaken your authority—it strengthens the relationship. As Dr. Fenkel explains, admitting mistakes shows children that relationships can recover and thrive despite imperfections.
Parenting isn’t about asserting control—it’s about fostering connection. By letting go of ego and embracing humility, parents can create a nurturing emotional environment where children feel valued and supported for who they are, not just for what they achieve.
Also Read:Long-Distance Co-Parenting: Simple Tips for Success, According to Experts
