How To Have Fruitful Discussions and Avoid Arguments

Have you ever found yourself in an argument with someone, and mid-way you ask yourself, why am I even arguing? How could I have avoided this debate? How could I have avoided this back and forth? Well, there are a few things you could do to avoid arguments. They are not guaranteed to keep you away from arguing, but they will surely help to reduce the number of times you argue.

Think Before You Respond

Don’t blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind when you feel that you’re under attack. Because the likelihood is that you will say something to exacerbate the situation. Therefore, try to get your mind to cool down, and think about what to say that would evade an argument.  Taking time to think allows your body to calm down. It also sends a message that you care enough to at least consider someone else’s point of view, which is calming for the other person in the argument

Speak Respectfully

Learn to speak quietly and slowly, and avoid rolling your eyes or giving other nonverbal indications of your annoyance. In order to avoid a possible argument, you need to show those with a different perspective that you value and acknowledge their point of view. So, instead of dismissing their arguments and trying to impose your thoughts no matter what, you should use some phrases that show consideration while smoothly introducing your perspective.  You could use statements like, Thank you for bringing this up; I understand your thoughts about the matter.  By phrasing your concerns like this you will validate the other persons and make them feel heard while making your thoughts clear.

Listen more

Listen carefully to what the person you’re talking to has to say. Later, when they’re finished talking, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to ask questions or to explain your viewpoint. On the other hand, if you hurriedly express your viewpoint, you might only make things worse. Even if there’s more you’d like to say, try to withhold yourself from speaking.

Be willing to Apologize

It’s always appropriate to say I’m sorry for anything you did to contribute to a conflict. If you find it hard to do this face-to-face, try expressing your feelings in a note. Then, go the extra mile by changing any behaviour that contributed to the conflict in the first place. Successful families and relationships have conflicts, but they know how to settle them peacefully. Practice the skills outlined in this article, and you may find that you can discuss even difficult topics with your parents