We all seek social connections and friends, but not everyone has our best interests. We need to identify true friends who will support, encourage, and have our backs during hard times. However, it’s crucial to learn how to spot fake friends. Here are some signs that can help detect fake friends posing as genuine ones.
Ulterior motives
One of the most significant signs of a fake friend is that they always seem to have an ulterior motive. These friends often pop up out of nowhere, maybe to borrow money, a place to stay or an opportunity that you have that they want to take advantage of. They hardly call to check on you or invite you over unless there is something in it for them. When they do, they quickly reach their agenda without even inquiring about your well-being. It is imperative to be mindful of people who only seem interested or show up in our lives when they need something from us.
Lack of Availability and Accountability
Another sign of a fake friend is that they are never there when you need them. They make excuses to avoid meeting up with you when you need them most, use pseudo apologies and blame their absence due to personal issues with no differentiation in that excuse from when they last avoided you the first ten times. They hardly reply to your texts, pick up when you ring them or bail out at any opportunity. They are masters of ghosting when they know you are undergoing hardships or difficulties that need their attention. These friends have no sense of accountability, as they are always absent when you need them the most.
Manipulation and Lack of Empathy
Furthermore, fake friends are often manipulative and seem to lack any sense of empathy. They often make you feel guilty when you set any boundaries with them. These friends usually use emotional manipulation, silent treatment by withdrawing affection, or even gaslighting you by making you feel like you are the out-of-control one. They hardly recognize your achievements, but instead, they mock or belittle you. They may point out your flaws or anyone else’s and not build you up. These types of friends do not celebrate your wins but only want you to be there to celebrate their successes.
Inconsistency and Unreliability
Fake friends are known to be inconsistent with their actions. They usually have a fragile friendship, and they struggle to maintain it. They are never willing to go the extra mile to make your relationship work. They often make promises they rarely keep, and if they do fulfil them, they do so reluctantly. True friends will be consistent by keeping their promises and making time for you. They will put effort into keeping the relationship vibrant and quickly apologize when they wrong you. By failing to be consistent, fake friends show that they are not committed to the relationship.
Gossiping and Negative Behavior
It is essential to be mindful of people who constantly gossip and speak ill of others to you. This is unhealthy behaviour, and they will do the same to you behind your back. If they talk about someone to you, chances are high that they also talk about you to somebody else. True friends will not need to bring others down to make themselves feel better. Remember, if they are gossiping, they most likely do not value you enough to keep your private matters from others.
Isolation and Interference with Your Interests
Also, fake friends tend to isolate you from others and the things you love or enjoy. They might do this by criticizing your interests, making excuses when there are plans to attend events or isolating you from other friends. A true friend will always support your claims, respect your preferences, and understand your social interaction needs. They will encourage you to pursue your interests and help you improve your passions.
Nurturing Healthy and Positive Relationships
These types of friends are always present when they need something, hardly keep their promises, are manipulative, inconsistent, and tend to isolate you from what you enjoy. They may gossip with you, have an ulterior motive, and hardly show empathy. We must recognize these signs to distinguish true friends from fake ones to maintain healthy and positive relationships.
True friendship does not require us to overlook our values or compromise our boundaries to keep up with others. Actual friends need mutual respect, trust, love, honesty, accountability, and, most importantly, commitment through thick and thin. In conclusion, it is essential to be mindful of the people in our lives, especially those who pose as true friends but are fake.
