With people, relating age and death has always been a thing. There’s this “censor” that lets them just think “oh, he was 75? He was old”, “Oh wow, 24 is too young”.
Expressions like that make it look like age and death should work together to allow the emotions you should feel.
Somehow, I do not think that is wrong as people will always be entitled to their opinions and feelings. But then again, noticeably or not, people can grow whether intended or not.
I have witnessed various case scenarios in which people feel only obliged to “feel sad” when a young person passes on and “feel less sad” when an older person passes away.
That’s one way to control their grief, I guess. I knew an old man once. He was quick to anger me and argue with me but somehow he sometimes made me laugh. He did anger me more, though.
“Action” as we used to call him was very energetic and I never for once thought I’d hear of his passing. But one day when I didn’t expect it, he was gone. No signs, he just kicked the bucket.
I was glad he’d lived long enough to meet me. I was also sad that I would never see him again. Also that we will never have those little conversations we used to have.
And that’s how I mourned a 75-year-old man. I also knew another aged man who passed on. We only used to “greet” and “pass” each other. But he was peculiar to me because for the days I did not see him first, he would call me and say hi.
So when I asked about “Baba” and heard he had died, of course, there was remorse. And so, I mourned another old man, gone too soon in my opinion.
I was going to turn 18, the day I searched up about Christina Grimmie’s passing. I just hurt knowing she was almost there and in the blink of an eye, she was gone.
It was significant to me because I was excited about being 18. She was barely older. And that’s how I mourned a 22-year-old.
One day, I’ll have the heart to talk about Cameron Boyce, Jonghyun and Chadwick Boseman’s deaths. One day, I’ll tell you about how I still cry and mourn for them.
