Feeling Left Out? Here’s Why and What You Can Do

by Frederick Akinola
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Feeling belong alone

Everyone, regardless of age, wants to be accepted by others. No doubt you do too. That’s why it hurts so much to be left out and ignored, as if you were invisible​. What can you do if you feel that you don’t belong? Here are a few reasons why people do not fit in and what you can do:


When you’re with people whose interests or talents differ from yours, it’s easy to feel that you’re the oddball​—especially if you’re shy. When you isolate yourself, you end up stuck in a vicious circle: Your loneliness convinces you that you don’t fit in, which makes you retreat from others, which makes you lonely, which convinces you that you don’t fit in.


Some people are so desperate to fit in that they fall into the wrong crowd​—thinking that any friends are better than no friends. Not just anyone is good to hang around with even if you feel left out sometimes. You don’t want friends who make you feel that you have to change who you are when you’re around them. You want friends who truly love you and who will be there for you.

Take the Initiative

Don’t wait for others to walk up to you and invite you into their circle. We can’t always expect people to reach out to us. We need to reach out to others. The following are two suggestions to help you do that: Look outside your age group. You can fit in with adults. Think about it, why limit yourself to one age group and then complain that you can’t find friends? there are good people around with whom you can fit in. And one way to find them is to look outside your age bracket. If you have anxiety problems, we have an article here that could help.

Develop Conversational Skills

Making conversation takes effort​—especially if you’re shy. But you can do it. The key is to listen, ask questions, and show genuine concern. Perhaps you’re reserved by nature, and there’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t have to turn into an extrovert.  But if you feel that you don’t fit in with others, try out the suggestions in this article.

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