Self-harm is the practice of compulsively harming oneself, whether by cutting, bruising, hitting, or another method. It’s usually not meant as a suicide attempt. Self-harm is a harmful way to cope with emotional pain, sadness, anger and stress. It can also be referred to as Non-suicidal self-injury or simply self-injury. Self-harm may be linked to bad experiences that are happening now, or in the past. But sometimes the reason is unknown. The reasons can also change over time and will not be the same for everybody.
How to know if someone is engaging in Self-Harm
The following are some signs to know someone is engaging in self-harm
- They have red cuts, burns, gashes or bruises on their hands, wrists, stomach or thighs. These are common sites of self-harm; however, self-injury can happen anywhere on the body.
- They wear long-sleeved shirts and other clothing that covers up their body in warm weather — a sign they may be covering up self-inflicted cuts and burns.
- They engage in other unusual physical behaviours such as chronic hair pulling or self-damaging itching and picking that leads to serious bleeding, bruising and scarring.
- They follow social media accounts that promote self-harming behaviours and share links to self-harm how-to videos.
Causes
Some young people start to self-injure because they have heard that others do it. The self-injurer usually acts in secret and is deeply ashamed of the habit. Some might use it to get attention. The causes of self-injury are complex, but underneath it all the young person usually feels emotional pain that is difficult to express in words. It results from the inability to cope with stress and emotional pain in a healthy way, or having a hard time controlling, expressing or understanding emotion.
Research shows that self-harm frequently starts in adolescence and is particularly prevalent in homes where there is a repressive environment, and where negative emotions aren’t discussed. As a result, cutting is used as an unhealthy coping mechanism to relieve stress and these negative feelings. Some individuals may even engage in cutting to numb their pain or actually feel pain because they are numbed from their negative emotions. Many individuals who engage in self-harm view this behaviour as a psychological release, a way to unravel their deep underlying negative emotions and thoughts. In summary, self-harm is engaged to feel a sense of control and express pain; to feel actual pain because senses are numb, or just to punish oneself.
How can you help?
Encourage the person to talk to you about what is troubling them. The following tips can help.
Console
If the individual reveals to you that they self-injure, try not to react with shock or horror. Instead, speak in a calm and consoling manner. When you speak consolingly, that will draw the person to open up more and confide in you.
Ask Nonthreatening Questions
Do not ask questions that will make the person feel they are being judged or are under intense scrutiny. For instance, you could say: I know you don’t always feel good about yourself. What frustrates you the most? or What can I do to help you when you feel anxious or depressed? or What do you most need from me in order for us to bridge the gap between us? Listen to their replies without interrupting. Remember that listening is a very important skill. Listen to understand, do not listen to respond.
Help the Person See Themselves in a Balanced Light
Since self-injurers often focus on their failings, perhaps you can encourage the person to recognize their positive traits. You might even suggest that they write down at least three things that they like about themselves.
Prevention
Experts say there is no sure way to prevent someone’s self-injuring behaviour. But reducing the risk of self-injury includes strategies that involve both individuals and communities. Parents, family members, teachers, school nurses, coaches or friends can help. Learn about the warning signs of self-injury and what to do when you suspect it. Helping someone form healthy connections with people who don’t self-injure can improve relationship and communication skills. Someone at risk can be taught how to better manage stress and deal with life’s problems.
Media Influence
News media, music and other highly visible outlets that feature self-injury may nudge children and young adults with mental or emotional issues to experiment. Teaching children critical thinking skills about the influences around them might reduce the harmful impact.
Bottom Line
Self-harm is very dangerous, and prevalent among teenagers. People who engage in this act are undergoing serious psychological problems. However, they can be helped. It’s up to you to pay attention to them and be patient in trying to assist. When left unchecked, self-harm can lead to suicide.
