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How Can I Control My Temper?

by Frederick Akinola
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How often do you have to control your temper? Do you flare up once in a while, or every day?  It is normal to lose your temper once in a while. But if you lose it too often, then there’s a problem. You have to tame it. You might end up doing or saying things you later regret. So, what could you do to control your temper?

Assume Responsibility.

It starts with you acknowledging that only you can make yourself angry.  You don’t apportion the blame and say he provoked me, he made me angry. That shows that you’re not in control of your emotions, you allow others to control your mood and emotions. You need to regain command of how you react to situations. The following points suggest how that can be done.

Anticipate the Problem.

Sensible people will see trouble coming and avoid it, but an unthinking person will walk right into it and regret it later- Jewish Proverb

Try to think ahead. Think of what the person you are interacting with might say to provoke you. Consider things you could say to steer the conversation in a different direction.

Wait Before Reacting.

When someone or something angers you, do not say the first thing that comes to your mind. Instead, wait. Take a deep breath if necessary. When you breathe, it gives you time to think before you do or say something you will later regret.

Expand Your View.

Sometimes you might become angry because you see only one aspect of the issue​—the part that affects you. Try to consider the other side of the story. Even when people are downright rude, there’s usually an explanation that can help you show a little understanding. See things from another perspective. It could help tame your anger.

Walk Away if Possible.

Sometimes it is best simply to walk away from a volatile situation. Then, rather than stewing over the matter and letting your anger build even more, get active. Find something to do that will take your mind off the issue.

Learn to let Go.

If you allow others to provoke you, it gives them power over you. Why not try to be mature and overlook the matter? If you do, you will be controlling your anger rather than letting your anger control you.


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