It is really hard not to lean in on that juicy scoop about that co-worker who …………….. you are interested in the story already albeit fake. Well, gossiping is a tricky vice; a gossiper often starts as a passive listener, then a very interested listener, and then someone who wants to contribute to the story a gossiper.
You might ask, what is the difference between enjoying a nice conversation with friends and gossiping? The information shared during gossip, usually, cannot be said to the subject of the gossip’s face, at least not without some backlash. If you feel you aren’t gossiping, then the question is; would you say those things you are saying to that person’s hearing? If your answer is “no”, then that is gossiping. Here are 3 tips to avoid gossiping:
You can avoid gossiping by asking 3 simple questions
ASK YOURSELF THE WHY QUESTION
You might come across a group of co-workers or neighbors exchanging juicy stories about your boss or the new mom that just moved in down the block. Now before you join in on that discussion, ask why are they discussing that particular person or people involved. You’d often find that the popular reasons behind gossiping are usually jealousy or projecting hidden insecurities. The point is, there is never a good reason behind gossiping. So, before you decide to lend your ears and lips to that conversation, try to understand why the conversation is happening in the first place. What’s the value or edification in that conversation?
THE WHAT QUESTION
Quick fact. Gossipers do not have anything good to say! Now you need also to analyze the content of that discussion. What kind of information exactly is being shared, and how authentic is the information? You’ll also find that most things gossipers ramble on and on about are lies; most times, it’s even a full-blown lying contest! Another tell-tale sign is the secretiveness, gossip is never done in the open; so, yes if the “conversation” is in hushed tones, it’s most likely gossip. You could easily tell the difference between a friendly conversation and gossip just by the kind of things you hear.
THE WHO QUESTION
You’ll find that gossipers are often people that do not have anything worthwhile to do, people who would rather discuss stuff like someone’s pregnancy than finish up on outstanding files. You do not want to mix with this kind of crowd. The best tip to avoid gossiping is to avoid the people who gossip, you cannot possibly gossip on your own, so surround yourself with people who do not gossip and you have avoided the temptation halfway.
If you’re honest with yourself and you realize you’re one of those who has a knack for starting gossip, you’ve to go deep and deal with those insecurities and feelings of inadequacy that make you sniff out real and imagined issues in people’s lives, just to have something to pull them down. Confident people who believe they have important things to do in life don’t enjoy gossiping to devote that much time and energy to it.