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People pleasing

by Monsurat Momoh
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People pleasing refers to the desire to please others even if it means sacrificing your own interests. Pushing away their needs and wants because they probably think they aren’t necessary, at that moment, people pleasers may even change their personalities. Depending on who they’re with.

Although it is not exactly a medication term, in close relationships specifically, a lot of people desire to feel appreciated and cherished. 

Humans are social beings that seek a sense of belonging, therefore this is typical. As a result, many individuals occasionally modify their conduct to facilitate social encounters.

How then are people pleasing any different from kindness or compassion?
The difference between these actions and people-pleasing is that the latter is more difficult to put an end to.

A person who has a huge desire to please may believe they must become whatever others desire of them. They might hide their true feelings or accept an excessive number of favours.
When they please someone, a person may feel good for a while, but this feeling never lasts enough.
For people to feel loved or helpful, they might need to keep doing things.

In the end, people could get exhausted in the long run.

Why do people “people please”?
  • Low self-esteem
People who believe their wants are unimportant may feel as though they are worth less than others.
They may be ignorant or less conscious of their needs.
If they are not able to help others, they may also believe that they are useless. you can boost your self-esteem by boosting your willpower.
  • Anxiety

Because they worry about not being accepted, being rejected, or offending others, people pleasers go out of their way to please others.

  • Trauma

This could also serve as a reason why people pleasers feel their urges. Traumatic experiences also shape people without them really acknowledging it. People pleasing can also be an effect of previous abuse/trauma.
What is your definition of a people pleaser?

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