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Why You Have to Be Selfish Sometimes

by Frederick Akinola
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Selfishness often carries a negative connotation, but in reality, being selfish is sometimes necessary for personal growth, mental well-being, and overall life satisfaction. Many people spend their lives constantly giving to others, neglecting their own needs in the process. While generosity and kindness are important, an excessive focus on others can lead to burnout, resentment, and unfulfilled potential. To live a balanced and fulfilling life, you must learn to prioritize yourself.

1. Selfishness Protects Your Mental Health

Constantly putting others’ needs before your own can lead to emotional exhaustion and stress. Many people feel obligated to always be available for family, friends, or work commitments, leaving little time for personal well-being. If you never set boundaries, people will continue to take from you without considering your needs.

Being selfish means saying no when necessary and prioritizing activities that bring you peace and joy. This could mean taking time to rest, seeking therapy, engaging in hobbies, or simply spending a quiet evening alone. By doing so, you protect your mental health and can be a better, more present version of yourself when you do choose to give to others.

2. It Helps You Set Healthy Boundaries

Many people struggle with setting boundaries because they fear disappointing others. However, without boundaries, relationships can become draining and one-sided. Learning to be selfish means understanding that your time, energy, and emotions are valuable and should not be freely given to those who do not appreciate them.

Setting boundaries allows you to:

  • Avoid being taken advantage of
  • Preserve your emotional energy
  • Focus on relationships that bring mutual respect and fulfillment

By prioritizing yourself, you create healthier relationships based on respect rather than obligation.

3. It Leads to Greater Success

Many successful people are unapologetically selfish with their time, goals, and aspirations. They understand that in order to achieve their dreams, they must focus on their own progress rather than constantly catering to others’ expectations.

If you spend all your energy helping others achieve their dreams, you may never have the time or resources to pursue your own. Whether it’s advancing in your career, starting a business, or achieving personal milestones, success requires dedication to oneself. Being selfish with your ambitions means committing to your goals and removing distractions that hinder your growth.

4. You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup

One of the most important reasons to embrace a level of selfishness is the simple truth that you cannot take care of others if you are not taking care of yourself. If you are emotionally, physically, and mentally drained, you will have nothing left to give.

Think of yourself as a battery. If you constantly give away your energy without recharging, you will eventually burn out. Prioritizing self-care allows you to show up as your best self in all areas of your life—whether it be in relationships, work, or personal projects.

5. It Encourages Self-Respect and Confidence

When you put yourself first, you send a message to yourself and others that your needs matter. This builds self-respect and confidence, which in turn improves your interactions with others. When you respect yourself, you naturally attract people who respect you as well.

Selfishness in this sense does not mean disregarding others; rather, it means valuing yourself enough to demand the same level of care and attention that you give to those around you.

6. It Allows You to Live Authentically

Many people live their lives trying to please others—parents, friends, employers, or even society as a whole. However, a life lived for others’ expectations is often an unfulfilled one. Being selfish means making choices that align with your true desires rather than constantly seeking approval.

Living authentically may require making tough decisions, such as leaving toxic relationships, changing careers, or setting firm boundaries with loved ones. While these choices may be difficult, they ultimately lead to a life that feels more meaningful and satisfying.

7. You Become a Better Person

Ironically, prioritizing yourself makes you a better person in the long run. When you take care of your needs, you experience less resentment, stress, and emotional exhaustion. This means that when you do give to others, you do so from a place of abundance rather than obligation.

By being selfish in the right ways, you cultivate inner peace, personal growth, and stronger relationships. You no longer give out of guilt but out of genuine care and appreciation.

Conclusion

Being selfish is not about being unkind or inconsiderate; it’s about recognizing your worth and taking care of yourself first. By doing so, you become happier, healthier, and more fulfilled, which ultimately benefits both you and those around you. The next time you feel guilty for prioritizing yourself, remember: you deserve the same love and attention that you give to others. Only when you take care of yourself can you truly give your best to the world.

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